Better late than never!

Why, hello world...I'm still alive, in case any of you that I don't talk to every day were wondering! Lots has been going on...due to Christmas being 5 days away (Holy Cow!) I have been shopping like a mad-woman! We got the tree up!...

Of course...Ty loves it...he sees his ornaments and says, "Ty Ty"..."Mine!"...he's a hoot!

That same weekend, we had his birthday party and he got sooooo many things! He racked up! BIG TIME! Soooo many Thomas things!

He was getting so brave on this thing! By the time we left, he was poppin' wheelies :)

The birthday boy, himself!

Blowing out his candles!

...and grandpa sent him a toy/book organizer to go in his room...as you can tell, mommy's living room is overflowing! We had to do something....and fast! :)

And then Ty got to experience the excitement of shopping with Mommy and Aunt Kay Kay...poor guy...

We got our first snow of the winter...which stranded us...of course. But, we were fine with that :)

We're now going through the phase of Tyler not wanting to wear his clothes...the other night, I walk out of the kitchen and this is what I see...oh my.

and the phase of actually enjoying his bath...to the point of having to drain the tub with him still in it...even still, he wants to stay. What am I going to do with this kid?! :) He kept saying, "mommy....cooooollllddd" haha...he finally got out :)

We do lots of cartoon watching nowadays...I mean, where I actually HAVE to sit and watch it with him...not where I can leave it on and walk away...oh, no! ...and this reminds me so much of when Adam and I were little and we would lay on the floor, in our pj's with a bowl of cereal...watching cartoons...those were the days!

Did I mention that I have the best fiance in the world?? well, I do...because he bought me a KitchenAid stand mixer...no more cramps in this girl's hands from mixing icing and cake batter by hand...no sir! ...Oh, and that he's taking me HERE (below) for our New Years weekend....yippee!!!

Let's see...what else has been going on...I am IATA certified...which means I can ship dangerous goods by air...so watch out! HA! Sad to say, but that's the highlight of the past month...for me. If I don't see you guys or talk to you (which I'm sure I will...I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year!! Love you all!

...I dedicate this house to the Griswold Family Christmas!

Geez...seems like the year has come and gone, and now it's time to send out Christmas cards and put up decorations!! ...Secretly, I'm excited. Secretly, I have been listening to Christmas music with my headphones in for a couple of months now :) Shh! I haven't put my decorations up yet, but I have almost completed all of my Christmas shopping, which is insane for me! Normally, I do a lot of it the day after Thanksgiving...but now, I can buy things that I really don't need, because I have already bought the things that I was supposed to...sounds like a win to me :) Tyler's Birthday is coming up VERY SOON. I can't believe that boy will be 2 years old! Time flies. He's getting to be so big and saying so much more now! It's adorable. He's a little handful and cracks me up daily :) I wanted to share this great deal shutterfly is doing right now. All you have to do is spread the word, and you will have a chance to win 50 free Christmas cards of your choice. Here's the top 3 on my list, let me know what you think!

http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/cards-stationery/pretty-poinsettia-print-christmas-card?sortType=1&storeNode=93476

http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/cards-stationery/spot-the-snowflakes-christmas-card-5x7-flat?sortType=1&storeNode=93476

http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/cards-stationery/cinnamon-candy-lace-christmas-card?sortType=1&storeNode=93476

That's all I got...and until next time...I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes...

Since this is Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas, I think she should lead us in the saying of Grace. What, dear?
Grace!
Grace? She passed away thirty years ago.
They want you to say Grace. [Bethany shakes her head in confusion]
The BLESSING!
[they all pose for prayer] I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands/ One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Amen.

Well, Well, Well!

Look who it is! I'm still alive, just been quite busy! ...Obviously! I'm slacking pretty bad on the updates! Well, let's see...since August...I have taken a shipping class and successfully passed, so I can OFFICIALLY ship hazardous/radioactive material...go me! Ha! I have turned 24, been to the casino...GOTTEN ENGAGED!...made cakes...went to Kentucky...Ty has started saying a lot more, he's such a hoot. He calls uncle Adam "dummy"...somehow he got "dummy" from 'Aaaaa dum'...haha :) He can count, highest we've gotten is 5. He reads mommy stories at night...such as "5 silly monkeys"...he'll grab the book and point to the monkeys and say, "No more, No more, No more!" all while shaking his finger at them. We went through a rough patch with his eating, temper tantrums...that all has seemed to subside. He's eating much better and less of the temper tantrums. He has learned how to use the big boy potty...just before he has a bath, he will hop up on the toilet and "poo poo" and "pee pee". He has learned his surroundings, so when we pull onto Mamaw's road, he will say, "Mamawwww...Gee Gee" (for Gene) or when we pull up to day care, he will say "skoo!!" (for school) or when we pull into Josh's...he will smill really big, gasp and say "Jahhh sssiiiieee!" (Joshie). We took him to the circus on Sunday, he loved it...but had no nap, so we didn't stay the whole time. This weekend we plan to go to Chuck E Cheese's for a birthday party and to Boo at the Zoo, where yours truly (Ty) will be a bumble bee. He's such a cutie patootie! Lots been going on, so I'll just post the pictures with the captions :) Enjoy!

Well, first off...I'm ENGAGED!!!! Look at that rock :) ... he must love me A LOT :)

We've officially set a date of September 3rd, 2011...HERE:

I've got a couple ideas in mind...I want a "Fall" theme...so, I'm thinking bright green, dark brown, orange, dark red, pumpkins, caramel apples, apple cider...lots of ideas floating around in my head :)

I've made some cakes recently too...here are some of those:

And the one I'm working on currently:

On to more important things...ha!...Just some randoms of Ty..

He sleeps like a champ :) So cute!

This is him, today, in his Nike outfit from his aunt Kayla :)

Helping Mamaw in the yard...he loves his Mamaw :)

This is our Saturday morning tradition....watch cartoons in our "skibbies" and just lay around...I did it when I was a kid...so I'm just passing the torch :) We love it.

My little cool dude...ready to go :)

Funny story with this one. I have learned NEVER to turn my head from the buggy when grocery shopping, no telling what I'll find in the buggy! It just so happened I was looking for a pizza and of course, the little debbies are on the other side, well, I picked our pizza and I started pushing the buggy and I look down...and my son has these....death grips.

This little man loves him some apples :)

Have a great/safe weekend! ...until next time...

....Introducing...

Ms. Lassiter....AGAIN! Holy Cow...I just don't know what to say or where to begin! To everyone that actually keeps up with this thing...I'm sorry I haven't updated it more than I have...lots have been going on! But...the wait was well worth it!! It's finally done - every bit of EVERYTHING I have been working on for the past 3 years almost...it's done. Mostly everyone who reads my blog knows what I have been going through. Praise God - after lots of patience, support, prayers...it's done and I can finally move on with my life and the people in it :) It's so funny - the life lessons I have learned at such an early age. Would I take it back...hmmm...the actual divorce? Never. Leaving? Never. Having the most amazing little boy that puts a smile on my face every time I look at him...? ...Never. I have always believed that everything happens for a reason...I'm still waiting for God to show me what that reason is. In my opinion - I'd say it's the fact that - well, let me first start off by saying - after spending all this time collecting my thoughts and going through what I have gone through, my reasoning for all of it...my way out. It was a way out of my mom's house, to be on my own, to "grow" up...which I always wanted...oh dear. Obviously I didn't think I had anything else in my life OR that I could stand on my own two feet and make it on my own...Holy Toldedo, was I wrong. In the past 3 years, I have realized how many people LOVE me, CARE for me, PRAY for me, CHERISH me...these people have stood by me from day 1. How in the world could I ever think that I had NO ONE? That, to me, is the most selfish, dumbest thing I have ever thought. I have never felt the love and support that I have right now and through this entire process. Supporting myself - being on my own...I accomplished it - yeah, it took a while...7 months of living in my aunt's basement with the crickets (By the way...Leisa - I'll have you know, I'm the #1 cricket killer here at work...guess I had 2 life lessons in one!) So, life lesson #1, DONE...never again. Thanks God! Ha! Life Lesson #2...I have learned the strength of my own heart...I have been beaten down, crying myself to sleep, worrying, headaches galore, feeling like I would never get through this...and there it is. Today, THE END. I'm still smiling and definitely NOT crying :) All in all, at the end of the day - I have my family, Ty - the light of my life...who just makes me feel like such a giddy mommy every time I lay eyes on him...he is just a blessing! I have a wonderful boyfriend that treats me and Ty better than I ever thought possible...wonderful friends...whom, by the way - I consider my family...I am just so thankful you guys helped me through this...I don't know where I would be without all of you! I guess I should thank my lawyer(s) - for taking me to the bank...for umm...typing mean letters, giving me advice...even though I ended up deciding everything on my own anyway...ha...big thanks! I keep thinking of a few certain people...Adam, my dad, my grandmother...JOSH...whom I would just sit and cry to...poor guys. It's over....I'm looking for a fresh start, new beginnings, showing my love and devotion to the people that gave it to me through all of this...especially GOD...I will never forget it, you guys. I love all of you.

Blah - On to the more exciting stuff! TY!!! That boy is such a character. I am enjoying my time with him more and more...well...this age right here is my favorite. Pronouncing things - hearing him trying to repeat them...is just funny :) He can say, Hi, Bye (and you HAVE to say it back!), he can give fives, "bump it", give hugs, "sugar", blow "sugar", says Mommmmmy, all of the time! Claps, dances, his favorite rhymes are Patty Cake and ABCs, he is amazed by mirrors and his tongue...extremely enjoys climbing on EVERYTHING, brushing his teeth - ha! Laughing at mommy when she says, "Tyler...I looooove you", Yawns and at the end goes, "ahhhhhh" like he's an old man....can throw things away, pick things up, cry when he doesn't get his way...haha...he's a hoot! LOVES LOVES LOVES water. I'm such a blessed mommy! Anywho, that's the update - 7 months later...ha :) I'll update more...well, I'll try - my life isn't that exciting :)

Thanks Again everyone. I love all of you!

Happy Mother's Day!

Well, I wanted to wish all of you mommies out there a wonderful Mother's Day! I absolutely love being a mother to the most wonderful, handsome, funny, pacifier sucking, still drinking a night-time bottle, happy, cranky, interesting, make mommy laugh so hard she almost pees her pants every day - little boy on the planet :) Being a mother is the best gift God has blessed me with and I wouldn't change it for the world!!! I have a little confession - (Stacy..don't freak! You'll be fine!!!!!! I PROMISE!!!!) I had a slight freak-out a couple of weeks ago...Meltdown...whatever. Yep...I sure did. So, let me re-cap. Sunday morning (2 weeks ago) 7am, Ty wakes up...cranky as ever. Pooped in his diaper during the night...not a happy camper. I got him up and changed him, so ticked, he is kicking the crap out of me...touching himself...getting poop all over his hands (grr!) - wipes..problem solved. Oh, but no. Mr. Peebody (who hasn't done this in FOREVER) starts whizzing all over the place...on his face, in the floor, on mommy...ok. Bath time. (Ahead of schedule...) ok. Cries, the entire bath. I get him out, put him in his high chair to eat, bawling. Won't eat a single thing. Finally, calms down - mommy finds a pretty good chance to jump in the shower. Half way through, he's BAWLING. I'm wet, sorry charlie...hang on. I take a speed shower, dry off, get him out. Spongebob didn't do the trick for him. So, here I am. Trying to get ready while I have a little rugrat standing at my feet, bawling, "ma ma ma ma" then he cries so hard, that tongue makes the noise, the PISSED noise. So, I pick him up...calm. Sweet. As I go to put on my make up, Tyler insists on grabbing my makeup, my brushes (while I'm putting it on) gets it ALL OVER the place. By this point...I have pretty much already decided that church would have to wait this Sunday...but I keep trying. 10:50..(church starts at 11) I am finally done drying my hair, when I look down, the child that was bawling, is sitting in the floor, by my feet, tears and snot just rolling down his face. At this point, I am crying...wondering how on earth my mom was able to do it with 2 kids. Why can't I pull it together!?! I am bawling. SOBBING. Overwhelmed. Pissed. Pretty ticked off that the person that helped me create this bundle of joy screwed me (figuratively) Ha. Ha. and now I'm sobbing, in the floor - with my child - like a child, because I am so overwhelmed because I am doing it all on my own. Everything. I get pretty mad at myself for needing a break. I mean, pretty ticked. Some people would KILL for more time with their child and I'm needing a break. I felt worthless. Selfish. So I had Connie come watch Tyler and I took off for a few hours. I felt absolutely horrible. The worst mother on the planet. Until I came home. I walked through the door and that little bundle of joy, ran to me, arms spread, reaching up for me. I put him in the car and we went to Mamaw's house...and he made me laugh the entire way there. Some things I wouldn't change for the world and being a mother is one of them :) So proud of all of you mothers out there!! I'm sure there are plenty of other meltdowns coming, but for now, I am proud and happy to be Tyler's mother.

Happy Mother's Day!

...The Good Things...

Well, apparently - I'm a slacker and some of you actually read my blog - so it's good to know that you notice when I don't post!

I honestly can't complain with the way things have turned out. I mean, really. God had a plan for me all along! It's kind of like when you think the movie is almost over, and you think the credits are about to scroll...here comes another scene. For the longest time, I thought that God had put me right where he wanted me...umm...apparently, he didn't want me to be miserable the rest of my life, go figure! I never in a million years, thought I would be divorced and have to raise my children with different dads. I never thought that my family would be crushed and every dream I had of a family would be tossed out the window. Growing up - here's how I pictured my life...graduating high school, moving out with Kayla, going to college, probably working at Toyota for the rest of my life, staying in Kingston or Knoxville (Kayla - do you think we would have been ready for Knoxville?! HA HA!) I thought I would have a steady boyfriend, support myself, finally buy MY OWN car, just the 'norm'. Well, not so much. Actually, not at all! Everything I imagined for my life, God had other plans, different roads for me to travel - different, life-changing experiences for me to endevour. Marriage wasn't what I expected either. I expected everything to just be perfect, never have to work at anything, just be "married" and "together"...wow! Boy, I really didn't know ANYTHING and boy, did I EVER get married too young and "blinded"...I might as well have been blind because that is not what it was...far from it! Most of you know the situation and what I went through...but I just thought marriage was a grand idea, after the wedding, we would just live happily ever after. Umm...yeah...for about 6 months. Welcome to the real world, lady! I have never worked so hard at something my entire existence. NEVER. I never thought I would have to experience some of the worst name-calling, my ears have ever heard. I never thought I would be scared for my life or afraid for my son - having to grow up with a human being that I thought was so great, that I married, who turned into Satan, I felt like. I never thought I would have to call my brother at 3 am, bawling, because my husband would call me some of the worst things. I never thought I would have to leave for an entire weekend, with a baby and camp out in a hotel room and splurge on Ramen noodles and ice water, because I didn't have enough money, due to the fact that 'someone' needed it more than we did. Looking back, I remember thinking, "How in the world am I going to get out of this? I'm stuck...why did this happen to me?!" Prrreeettttty sure, all of that was God's plan - even the crying, sadness, heartache...and how I handled it, is still beyond me. A few blogs ago - I posted a list, a list of the things that I want to have in a man. Where on earth was this list when I was 18, before I got married, you ask?! Umm...non-existant. I knew what I wanted and NO ONE was going to tell me any different. Not even God. I was with that "life lesson" for 6 years, when I finally left, I knew the things I wanted, the things I didn't want. I couldn't have made that list without the simple fact that I have experienced something well beyond me. God's will. Good Things are coming and are here and I couldn't be more happy to know that God has his hand on my head, guiding me - in the lessons I've learned, the past I came from and the memories I had along the way. The friends that were there, the people I have met, the people that are in my life right NOW, that are loving me and supporting my every move. So, I made a mistake trying to do things my way. Yeah Yeah. I know. ::slap in the face:: uhum ::I told you so:: yeah, I'm hearing it pretty regularly from myself right now. I can't live my life in the past, in regret. Time to move forward with some happy times and a great future!! Ready for God to put me down - where he has carried me for the past 2 years, and let me walk on my own. My legs are strong now and ready for a different trail...it's all GOOD.

Missing things...

When things go missing, they always hold that slim chance that SOMEDAY, SOME TIME, they will be found. I remember when I was little, I would lose something I absolutely "needed" at that very moment. I remember crying and getting so frustrated because I had looked everywhere I thought that it might be. Still, nothing. I would EVEN pray to God to help me find it, help it turn up...sheesh - what? I was 7 or something! I know, I know...I was desperate. I would even call in the troops (MOM) and have her come look with me/for me. Nothing. UNTIL, a week later - you are looking for something else, and there it is - right where you looked 100 times. That's how I feel right now, my memories, smells, laughs, touches, smile...they are missing. Not mine, but the memories of my mom's. Maybe I'm trying WAY too hard to find them. I feel like I've called in the troops, still, NOTHING. Mom passed away 3 years ago - yesterday. I remember praying to God, while looking at her lifeless body in the casket - happy for her, sad for me - you know the drill. Asking him to please, don't let me forget those things. Don't let me forget where I put them, always be able to go there and get them whenever I wanted to see them again. I think I have closed the door on those memories or buried them underneath something, anger maybe? Sadness maybe? Hurt maybe? Maybe all three? Maybe angry that she left me - without a mother, without a best friend to talk to every single day, maybe 3 or more times a day...Sadness that Tyler will never get to meet his Mimi Jo and know what a wonderful person she was. Sad that he will only know her pictures, and the memories that I haven't shut the door on. Sad that he won't be able to grow up with the same memories I had of her. Sad that I won't be able to remember all of the memories to share with him and help him "know" his Mimi...Sad he can't wear a "Going to Grandmas House" shirt without mommy sitting in Wal-Mart and bawling her eyes out. Hurt - hurt at the decisions that she made, when I would try to help her, she wouldn't realize. She didn't think there was anything wrong. Hurt by her actions and that I had called her the night she passed away to chew her a new butthole, only to find out, she was probably already dead...and if she wasn't? That would have been our last conversation. The very last memory I had of my mom is when her and Adam came to visit me in California. That was the best one. Brought back some of the memories that I have "lost"...I think it made wonderful memories for mom too...because I remember an email from her as soon as she got back, it was pretty long, but it pretty much said how much she enjoyed her trip out to visit me and Adam. How she always knew I would make it "in the city" and how I would always succeed in whatever I decided to do. (Marriage...yeah - she's probably laughing right now and convincing God to kick him in the nads when he gets to heaven...umm...nevermind) I remember the one line from the email that has always been a memory for me, that I just cried and cried after I went back and found it, after she passed away. "I loved the trip to Cali, it was probably one of the best memories of my life. I will always cherish that memory of you, me and Adam on the beach as long as I live" So, I have put a few pictures from that trip - one of the best memories that I can actually remember :) I miss her like mad.

Beautiful.

She was so gorgeous. We picked this dress out - TOGETHER.
She LOVED her babies and taking pictures of them.

Love this picture. Once he gets out of med school (Which, by the way, bud - Mom would be super duper proud of you) this is how he will feel :)

Best Friends. Love her. Miss her.

Kind of like how we are now...taking off on our own, figuring things out - with nothing but "leftovers" of memories of our mommy.

My other best friend.

He brightens my day.

This brightens my day.

The person I grew up, wanting to punch in the face - EVERY SINGLE DAY - is now the person I call to, crying, laughing, still punching, loving him and all of his accomplishments. SO PROUD.

This is the picture Ty knows. He loves his Mimi.

No words.

Peaceful. Relaxed. Heaven.